i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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