I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
