fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
