am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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