shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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