Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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