yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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