Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
