I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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