So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
