roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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