True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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