Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
