I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
