i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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