u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He better not be in your backpack
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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