He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
