She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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