I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
