Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
