Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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