the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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