Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
