i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
