it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
