think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
