I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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