she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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