I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
