did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
