He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
