Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
