if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize