We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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