You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My pussy is not your playground.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
