Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
