The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
