The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
