I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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