All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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