i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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