My first STD was from a foam party
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We have started to decorate penises.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
