doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
