So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
