; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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