there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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