I want to stick my p in your. b.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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