You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize