Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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