for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
