so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
