i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
