did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize