Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
