whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize