On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
