hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
