His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
