I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
