I don't think brook has ever known best
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize