oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
