And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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