im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
