I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I am naked and annoyed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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