I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize