You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
